Auto News for Dec. 15

With Jeep sales soaring month after month, the Toledo plant where they are made will reach a milestone later this week. Automotive News said the plant hit an all-time one year production high of 500,000. The Wrangler and Cherokee models in particular have been hot sellers.

Volvo will pull out of many costly international auto shows and concentrate more on its own events, while putting more emphasis on internet sales. It was quick to point out that the final transaction will still go through dealers and it doesn’t foresee setting up a system such as Tesla’s. Volvo said eight out of ten customers already shop online and many will so do for their wheels in the future. Volvo is now owned by the Zhejiang Geely Holding Group of China.

BMW 6 series

BMW is still going to the auto shows, and in fact, will unveil the 2016 6-series at the Detroit extravaganza next month. The lineup will include a convertible, coupe and gran coupe. We will learn more when the show opens to the media on Jan. 12.

That used car in your driveway is now worth more, according to the National Automobile Dealers Association. It said fewer used vehicles on the market and strong demand are the reasons why. Used vehicle depreciation rates slowed to one of the lowest levels of the year in November.

And here is something that should put a smile on your face this Monday morning. It comes from a near and dear auto buff friend.

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a guy at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek  car and asks, ‘What kind of car ya got there, sonny?’The doctor replies, ‘A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!’

‘That’s a lot of money,’ says the old man. ‘Why does it cost so much?’

‘Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!’ states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, ‘Mind if I take a look inside?’

‘No problem,’ replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, ‘That’s a pretty nice car, all right … but I’ll stick with my Moped!’

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH!

Something whips by him going much faster!

‘What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?’ the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph and he’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, ‘I’m a doctor…. Is there anything I can do for you?’

The old man whispers, ‘Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!’







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